Pamela Anderson - fully clothed



Steel Mail News - March '98
Vol.2, Ed. 1

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NEW MEMBERS THIS MONTH:

Larry Wilson - Electrician - BOF Electrical
Nick Chuich - Grievance Committeeman - Zone 5
Dennis Smolnicky - Machinist - Machine Shop
Bob Hinkle - Millwright - BOF Mech - retired.
Jim (J.D.) Cline - Millwright - BOF Mech.
Jerry Stowell - Millwright - Assistant Griever - BOF Electrical

Notice:

Paul S. Kaczocha, (formerly known as Paul Kaczocha) is the new assistant griever for 'Caster Mech' and his address can now be found on the "Union Officials" page of STEEL MAIL.

Hearty Laughs Coming:

A priest, rabbi, nun, Irishman, Scotsman, Englishman, blonde, and a guy with a parrot on his shoulder all walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke"?

AMERICAN NEWSPEAK. Hoarded at http://www.scn.org/newspeak
Celebrating cutting edge advances in the Doublethink of the 90's
Written by Wayne Grytting

CEO Watch

It's been a long wait, but finally someone has descended from the country clubs to publicly defend the exorbitant salaries and bonuses our top executives have been raking in. Ira T. Kay, remember that name, came out in the pages of the Wall Street Journal to defend high CEO pay as a "crucial factor making the US economy the most competitive in the world." And why does paying our CEO's roughly 10 times more than their Japanese counterparts help make our companies more competitive? Obviously you're not a professional economist if you need to ask. Because without the incentives, our CEO's would be in the same boat as Japanese managers, with "no economic incentive to face up to difficult management decisions, such as layoffs." So supporting those executive bonuses so we can get... fired, is Mr. Kay's inspired message. (WSJ 2/23)

From the desk of Grand Emperor of Steel Mail for Life Kensey
(formerly known as Grand Emperor of Steel Mail for Life Kensey Alsman):

At a recent book sale I managed to obtain a copy of the long sought after and thought to be extinct book "Kilgallen, A Biography of Dorothy Kilgallen" by Lee Israel. I garnered this priceless relic from the Portage Friends of the Library (heretofore known as "suckers") for the paltry sum of fifty cents.

As a magnanimous gesture I will be displaying this priceless relic about the region at various times during the year, and as a member of the Brother & Sisterhood of the Secret Button you will be allowed to handle and peruse this priceless relic for a predetermined amount of time (appearance dates, places, and amount of time you will be allowed to handle the priceless relic will be announced in a future issue of SM News).

I have already received several requests for information (that can only be found in this priceless relic) from those of you who are currently writing biographies of Dorothy. I shall attempt to answer some of those questions here.

Q. Is it true that Dorothy invented calculus?
A. No, that was invented by Sir Isaac Newton. Dorothy merely developed the calculus notation method that is in use today.

Q. What is on page 47.
A. Page 47 is missing.




Q. Does this book contain the famous lost picture of Dorothy dining with John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Lee Harvey Oswald, J. Edgar Hoover, and Soupy Sales?
A. Yes, but the original photo also showed her twin sons, Al Gore and Janet Reno. They have been cropped from this copy.


Q. Is it true that Lyndon Johnson is the father of the twins?
A. Blood tests have proven that Alan Ginsburg is the true father though Hunter S. Thompson raised them as his own.





Q. Was Dorothy ever a member of Hell's Angels?
A. Yes. She went underground for two years as Dotty Quickliter to research a book about bikers. This is where she met Hunter S. Thompson, her eleventh husband.

If you have more questions about "Kilgallen" then send them along and I will do my best to help you out.

Yours Truly
Grand Emperor of Steel Mail for Life Kensey
(formerly known as Grand Emperor of Steel Mail for Life Kensey Alsman).


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