Handicap Trophy presented to
wrong member of 'K' Team
Above: Kensey makes a maudlin acceptance speech saying "I've worked all my life for this and I would like to dedicate this outstanding victory to the wonderful State of Arkansas where I was born."
With an unprecedented display of gall & chutzpah that will live in infamy, Kensey Alsman was stripped of the 1st place Handicap Trophy in the days immediately following the Bofmechian. No attempt was made to hide the fact that certain people would do what it took to get the trophy away from him.
"The trouble began after Kensey made his acceptance speech," said one unnamed source. "He never should have dedicated his win to Arkansas. He knew the politics of making such a statement and was just asking for it."
This is the exclusive story as pieced together by Steel Mail News.
The day following the tournament the only official score sheet was posted in the bofmech lunchroom. Within minutes it had been removed and delivered into the hands of Dave Wellman by one of his henchman. "Ain't no damn razorback gonna win this trophy as long as Hilary Clinton is in the White House," Wellman was heard to mutter as he covered the score sheet with illegible scribbling and nonsense calculations. The final result was an official document that could no longer be read and the declaration, by Wellman, that Kernie Hayman, (a fellow Hoosier and Republican) and not Alsman, was the true winner of the handicap trophy.
When presented with the so called evidence of an error in the score keeping, tournament director, Mike Emigh, said "I don't care what you do with that trophy, Mister. I got mine and nobody's gonna take it away from me. Alsman can watch out for hisself."
Told he must relinquish his prize Kensey said, "What can I do? I'm the sole, lonely voice of Southern-Democratic manhood in this tournament. I always get mis-treated this way by these trashy yankee hoodlums."
Hayman was subsequently awarded the trophy in a clandestine ceremony held in the rubble pit beneath #1 Ladle Treatment Station that Wellman did not attend.
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